Just the Line — Words Only

Parenthood: the art of repeating yourself until you lose the will to live.

It's a teachable moment. Again.

I have one weird trick for inflation, layoffs, and climate change. The trick is I do not know what I am talking about.

I have one friend. They're a podcast. The friendship is parasocial but functional.

IPA: Instant Personality Adjustment

The old internet is still dying. It's been dying since 2007. It will be dying when I am dead.

Spoke once. Got called arrogant. Will continue.

Nothing happened today. The record reflects this. The record is exhausted.

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. CURRENTLY UNRENTED.

Asked the internet if anyone else was having no success with dating. Replies came in for a year.

The penguin sees you trying. The penguin is unimpressed. The penguin remembers nothing.

Found a beautiful old book called The Never Ending Story. Out of print since 1987.

Intelligent Life Shouldn't Be Aspirational

I asked the internet for help buying a hat. Three weeks later: still no hat. Many opinions.

I'm 99% tired and 1% done.

I have decided my plant is shy. The alternative is that I'm a bad caretaker.

Mum said no. Case closed. Appeal denied. Ruling: final and beyond mortal challenge.

Watered the fake plant. It is doing well. So are we.

Mortgage is just rent. Plus a thirty-year contract. Plus the maintenance. Plus the regret.

Position: Middle Manager. Status: Hard Pass. Reason: I have seen the meetings.

I offend people before breakfast.

Eighteen months off. Reason: yes. The body remembers what stopping feels like. The calendar, eventually, will too.

I make chaos look productive.