Just the Line — Words Only

We discussed it into the ground. Then we discussed why nothing got done.

This shirt is my couples therapy contribution

Have eight water bottles. Drink from none. Each one judges me from a different surface.

Your personality is like cheese — it gives me the sh*ts.

3 Hours. Zero Output. Department of Delayed Productivity. Active Since Sunrise.

My vibe? Just trying not to raise a feral adult.

Vibe Code Repair Service. Established yesterday. We fix your vibes. Results not guaranteed but felt.

I don't like reading books. I can never swipe to the next page.

I quit. Not today. Not next month. But every time someone schedules a meeting that could've been an email, my soul rehearses the speech.

Body piercings are great until someone chips a tooth

Replaced my wardrobe with one brand. Replaced my friends with one app. The simplification continues.

I'm allergic to nuts so you need to walk away

Worried that a war will make food more expensive. Was already worried that food was already expensive.

Twins in a sleep regression. Toddler sick. The job said please respond to this thread by EOD.

There are 3 constants in the universe: death, taxes, and boomer entitlement.

My house may contain nuts.

Things I said tonight: 'I'll just check one thing.' Things I have done: not gone to bed.

Things I know about cycling shoes. Things I do not know about my own retirement plan.

FRIENDLY REMINDER FROM MANAGEMENT. NOT FRIENDLY. NOT REMINDER.

The state disagrees with you, respectfully. The disagreement carries weight. The respect is structural.

Finally freed myself from my storage unit. The objects didn't notice.

The receipts multiply without consent. They have a calendar. I am not on it.

The 4% rule was written for someone you are not.