Just the Line — Words Only

Dog Hair: my favourite accessory

Memorandum: Relocate to HQ by stated date, or accept termination at-will. Sincerely, the building.

Same dog. Same time. Every day. He sees something I do not.

Quit the job. Regret nothing. Regret everything. Both. At once. Forever.

Do it for the plot twist.

Q2 Performance Note: Employee continues to crack quietly, on schedule, within budget.

Proudest moment of 2026: a houseplant I forgot about decided to live anyway.

Got rejected from a job I never applied for. Closure, finally.

Reasons not to move to Melbourne from Perth: weather, rent, the smug. Reasons to: same.

Used to call it a personality trait. Now I call it the deposit on my therapy.

People tell you they don't like your personality. That's impossible. You don't have one.

Democrat GPS — always turns far left.

Permanent work from home. We closed the office. We are still in meetings.

Dear Santa, I can explain Poorly.

Parents arrived with snacks. Their snacks. From their fridge. In our kitchen.

Deadline Ostrich: Head in the sand. Due tomorrow.

Parenthood: the art of repeating yourself until you lose the will to live.

Updated my dating profile to currently in beta.

I have one weird trick for inflation, layoffs, and climate change. The trick is I do not know what I am talking about.

DARTBOARD ON THE CEILING. UNCLEAR IF GOAL.

I have one friend. They're a podcast. The friendship is parasocial but functional.

The old internet is still dying. It's been dying since 2007. It will be dying when I am dead.

Nothing happened today. The record reflects this. The record is exhausted.