Just the Line — Words Only

Tactile linears with tape mod. PBT cherry profile. Custom artisan. Typing the same emails everyone else types.

I'm not asking you to hire me. I'm asking you to reject me before bedtime.

Christmas cheer on tap.

Job description, abridged: must be able to predict the future, perform miracles, and tolerate the founders.

They loathe the content. Not because it's wrong. Because it's working.

I called the school district IT desk. They told me to email the school district IT desk.

Is this an introvert thing or a mental health thing. (Both. The answer is always both.)

Cheers to tax-deductible Hangovers.

Eight hundred applications. Three interviews. One unpaid internship. They are calling it competitive.

A Performance Improvement Plan is a calendar. Not a plan. The calendar is for them.

I am certified in films you now study at university.

I was the emergency contact. The emergency was emotional. They got me anyway.

I have strong opinions about bins. This is the bin night era of my life.

Cat hair: the glitter of my life.

I have finished the internet. There is nothing left. I am still scrolling.

Career Goals: Fewer Meetings, More Snacks.

Eight tabs open. Three are duplicates. One I cannot identify. Two I am afraid to close.

I buy the snacks with the good fonts. They taste the same. The fonts know.

Carbon footprint? I wear Sandals.

Considering where your head is, you must have an amazing view of your tonsils.

$8 peace lily from Home Depot. Five years in. Has outlived two relationships.

Can't fix stupid, but I can sedate it.

Held the baby. Used the self-checkout. Stole something. Did not notice.